The "Problem" is NEVER the Problem

Yes, you read that right. The "problem" is never what you think it is. The real problem is ALWAYS what you are thinking about the situation that makes it seem like a problem. Change the way you're thinking about it, and it will change. Because it must. 

Something else to keep in mind is this: Every so-called problem has a solution (or two or twenty or two thousand!) inherent in it. And every solution that is generated by a "problem" is proportionate in size to the problem. Meaning that if it's a small problem, the solution generated by it is small, too. If it's a huge problem, the solution is the same size. 

What if we could remember this in the moment? (Ha! I'm asking this of myself, too, as I'm currently experiencing a handful of things that feel like real - and big - problems to me.) 

That's really the hardest part - remembering this BEFORE we react without thinking. "Thinking," meaning this: Reminding ourselves that there's no such thing as a problem without at least one fabulous solution inherent in it. When we can remind ourselves of this before taking any action, we are far more likely to get it handled in a timely and intelligent manner, rather than having a knee-jerk reaction that causes the situation to snowball out of control.

Albert Einstein said, "The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the level of thinking that created them." If we can remember this in the moment that we find ourselves facing what appears to be a significant problem, then - right there in that moment - we have a significant opportunity to look deliberately to the solution level of thinking, which means we can bypass the "snowball" completely!

This is a super-useful thing to know, and I encourage us all to look to the solution level of thinking the second we remember that we have that option available to us! 

Let whatever happens be okay...

From flat tire to house fire, no matter what happens in our lives, we ALWAYS get to choose how we're going to deal with it. We can let it get the best of us, causing us to react without thinking. Or we can choose - deliberately - not to struggle against it, but to let it be okay. No matter what it is. 

But why would you want to do that? Well, the biggest and best reason is the simple fact that how we react to a circumstance - any circumstance - is what determines the next iteration of the circumstance. 

The situation that I mentioned in the video below - the one that really pissed me off - is a perfect example. If I had reacted out of anger, the situation had some real potential to snowball into something bigger than it needed to be. Instead, I decided to accept it as the Universe supporting me in my decision to let whatever happens be okay. And I chose not to react. Nor did I respond. After a few minutes of bitter complaining about the injustice of it all, I decided to just let it be what it was, without confronting the other person involved AND without allowing myself to feel like his victim, which is where I was headed at first. And without ANY action, reaction, or response from me, the situation handled itself beautifully. 

And I only created my own suffering about it during those first few minutes. 

So... can you let whatever happens be okay with you? Of course you can. The more important question is: Will you? Try it for yourself and watch what happens as things you used to struggle against start moving out of your experience 10 or 100 times faster than they used to.

Why am I doing this?

 

THIS is why...

Finding the Treasure

Joseph Campbell said, “Where you stumble, there lies your treasure.” This happens to be one of my favorite quotes, and I dive into the idea of it fairly often.     

This morning I asked myself what I’ve been tripping over the most lately, and the answer that came was, “Regret.

I got an immediate insight into what regret really is. It’s unforgiveness. It’s me, holding a grudge against myself. It’s something truly unhelpful—damaging, in fact—disguised as something virtuous. We are trained to believe that regret is a virtue, something that serves ourselves and others because it supposedly keeps us from repeating our mistakes. But that’s not it at all. It’s an anchor. It keeps us looking behind ourselves at things we wish we’d done differently in the past; at choices we wish we hadn’t made and actions we wish we hadn’t taken.           

How does that serve us, though? How does that serve anyone? How can keeping ourselves hooked into our past mistakes be a positive thing at all? And why is it so much easier for so many of us to forgive others than it is to forgive ourselves? I don’t know. What I do know is that self-forgiveness is worth doing for our own benefit, and for the benefit of others.    

I mean, really… If I’m hooked into feeling bad about myself because of things that I can’t change, how can I make truly healthy decisions now? If I’m trying not to make the same mistakes I’ve made in the past, how am I not bringing that stuff forward into my current choices? This creates a tug-of-war within me that can only tear me apart. An inner tug-of-war can never heal anything.      

It turns out that there IS a “treasure”—a gift—in this that has been right here and available for me to receive throughout a lifetime of tripping over this one thing. And that is the simple truth that I can end this tug-of-war any time I choose to, simply by letting go of that end of the rope. Only then can I be really free to make all-new, untainted, empowered choices that have the potential to benefit myself, those that I love, and the community that I serve.

What about you? What do YOU keep tripping over? And, if you were to look at it closely, what "treasure" would you find in it?

Introduction to OM Living

And so we begin. I'm so happy that you're here!